husband excuses

I do not understand the joys of parenthood and not claiming to understand.

However, from a non-parent POV, it's hard for me to understand certain aspects of it...mainly the excuses. And please note that when I say "excuses" its not meant to be taken in bad way.

I was discussing this with another childless friend because it seems like people with children leave early/come in late and take more sick days due to the nature of adding another responsibility to their life (not saying staying home with a sick kid is a cake walk either).

This friend and I had a lively discussion about some of the explanations people have for being late, leaving early or being out of work. All legit, of course.

But she brought up a hilarious point; I couldn't use these excuses for myself regarding David, my husband.

And then we started thinking of some....

David was cranky this morning

David flushed my car keys down the toilet

David threw up in his hair this morning

David choked on a grape

David shit his pants as we were getting into the car

David got pink eye from the neighbor boy

David ate a piece of a puzzle and is working on passing it

David hasn't eaten for 2 days because his last poop scared him

David peed in the heating vent

David peed in a closet

David fell down the stairs

David's butt got stuck in the toilet

It's not funny when it's your kid doing these things.

But it is funny when it's my husband.